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Introduction
Creative, mindless, irreverant, shy, lanky lunatic seeks warrior priestess for [I]bown-chicka bwow bwow[/I]
Whatever.....
You see? When you're a frog, life is pretty easy. All you need is a cool place to stay hydrated, three squares a day; and most importantly, you need to keep your keister out of the blender!
Let me go back a bit. I was born a small tadpole in a quaint bog that was, unfortunately, on the wrong side of a rather poorly maintained nuclear power plant. And by "the wrong side" I mean, downstream.
It was a strange and wonderful place to morph, mutate and slightly mature. But sadly, it wasn't to last. They shut the plant down, cleaned up the stream, beautified the bog, and completely ruined the place for a little freak like me. Those Bastards!
So I grabbed my king size bottle of Neutragena and my SPF 50 Bullfrog sunscreen and a can of Red Bull, bid adieu to the bog what had bored me and got the flock outta there.
Landing in the real world after all that red bullshit wore off, I found myself in a strange, new world. A world full of mysteries, hyperboles, metaphores, allegories, blenders, bold-face lies and challenges.
The first challenge was that there weren't any maps, directions, instructions, tourist guidebooks or Zagat Guides to be found. Well, ones that were worth a tinker's fart anyway.
( Insert scary music of your choice here: [B]DUN TA-DUN-DUN...DUNNNNNN[/B] or [I]bwon chicka bwow bwow[/I] )
What's a frog to do?
My Ideal Person I'm probably not the guy you've dreamed about your entire life. Or the one you have decided you wouldn't mind settling for. I'm the one you never knew existed.
I don't want to be the sun. I don't want to be the moon. I want to be that moment when you stop whatever it is you are doing, look up into the sky in the middle of your usual day and see the moon and think, "Hey! I didn't know it could do that!"
Oh yeah, about that blender. How could I forget?
I've pretty much experienced all of the different butttons being pushed and pushed and pushed...except for one.
I'm okay. I got some ointment.
That's such a fucked up word, OINTMENT!! HA HA HA
OINTMENT!!
The lone, unpushed button is?
Survey Says!! --------- blend
BLLLEEENNNND. Does sound kind of smooth. Doesn't it? I think I might like that for a change: to blend.
Why didn't I think of that sooner???
They did name the stupid machine after it. Duh!
Where did all the funny women go?
I usually only correspond with people who post to my blog, but I will make exceptions. You better be exceptional and not a high maintenance, blender drink kind of girl, unless you have a really terrific keister. Might even share the blender and the ointment with you then...
My Ideal Person I'm probably not the guy you've dreamed about your entire life. Or the one you have decided you wouldn't mind settling for. I'm the one you never knew existed.
I don't want to be the sun. I don't want to be the moon. I want to be that moment when you stop whatever it is you are doing, look up into the sky in the middle of your usual day and see the moon and think, "Hey! I didn't know it could do that!"
Oh yeah, about that blender. How could I forget?
I've pretty much experienced all of the different butttons being pushed and pushed and pushed...except for one.
I'm okay. I got some ointment.
That's such a fucked up word, OINTMENT!! HA HA HA
OINTMENT!!
The lone, unpushed button is?
Survey Says!! --------- blend
BLLLEEENNNND. Does sound kind of smooth. Doesn't it? I think I might like that for a change: to blend.
Why didn't I think of that sooner???
They did name the stupid machine after it. Duh!
Where did all the funny women go?
I usually only correspond with people who post to my blog, but I will make exceptions. You better be exceptional and not a high maintenance, blender drink kind of girl, unless you have a really terrific keister. Might even share the blender and the ointment with you then...
What are your favorite musicians or bands?:
Luna, REM, Radiohead, Vic Chesnutt, Wilco
Tell one of your favorite sexual fantasies. Don't hold back!:
Are you feeling froggy or what?
What types of sexual activities turn you on?:
French Kissing
Ever fantasized about having sex with a celebrity? Who? What turns you on about them?:
Babette Smurf <br><br>
Our children would be such a nice shade of aquamarine.
Have you ever had cybersex?:
I've tried it, but it's just not the same.
View more of spinmedown's responses
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Information
Sexual Orientation:
Straight
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Looking For: Women |